Feature: The Only Way Is Up

The only way is up for three-time wooden spoon winner Conor Griffiths. Or is it? With the arrival of four new players, could Conor plummet to new lows?

Often a keen and active player, much speculation has made been about Conor’s abysmal streaks and polarizing attitude. OhPls caught up with him on the eve of the new season.

OhPls: Welcome. It’s always pleasure to get inside the mind of a PLS player.

CG: Thank you for having me today, honoured to be appearing in my first OhPls interview.

OhPls: Do you believe you have what it takes to finally challenge for the title?

CG: A title challenge would be a big ask this year. Although we are on a rich vein of form from the end of last season [which nearly led to a shock survival] it’s hard to see that carrying over. A lot of our fans would be happy with not finishing bottom! As a club, we are aiming for a top half finish.

OhPls: How do you feel about your PLS reputation and cruel nickname “Mr. Weird Picks”?

CG: [Laughing] That isn’t a nickname I have heard before! Admittedly our backroom selection staff make some odd choices – but sometimes you have to go against the grain [Shrugs]

OhPls: Why do you think you have come last three times now?

CG: A lot of factors. [Pauses]. Bad timing, bad picks, bad advice. In the long run I think it’s come down to being too stoned around pick time, forgetting and having to pick the first team I see.

[The smile has gone from Conor’s face and for the first time he seems a little defensive]

CG: Sometimes I have 2 minutes to go. I would love to be able to shift that blame, but ultimately it falls on my shoulders. This season we have made a plan to ensure that picks are made before the deadline. I can assure you we aren’t last again this year. The alphabet system we trialled last year closed a gap. Will we try it again? I guess you’ll have to see.

OhPls: Finally, how do you feel about the arrival of James Begley and Rhys Villiers, amongst others?

CG: What can I say? The first thought I had was thank god! Somebody else will be buying the pint! In the long run, more competition can only help grow the franchise and the game worldwide. I look forward to the extra teams and I’m sure to get sh*t from [James] Begley when I lose. I’d like to say good luck to all those involved this year and I’m looking forward to a great season. I will be enjoying that [Lucozade] merch come April!